Dark Angel
by Random Clone
Summary: “Leo, what were you thinkin?” Raph's hoarse demand echoed loudly through the back of the windowless van we'd been herded into. Although I couldn't see his eyes, I could imagine that they were blazing.


A/N: This story is not beta'd, unfortunately. I've read it over several times to try and catch errors, and such, but there's the rather high possibility of something slipping through. Also, this story has high doses of OOC-ness. It _is_ a plot point, however, and will thus be explained. :)

**Warning! Contains mature subject matter and strong language (thank you, Raph).**

**Disclaimer: As many have stated before me, I do not own the turtles. I do not own the Foot. And, for that matter, I don't own New York.**

* * *

It was midnight.

Only a few moon-illumined clouds drifted on the far horizon, seeming to glow white as they drifted across the silver-tinted ocean.

The lily-white orb painted a milky light across everything that it caressed. Except, it seemed, the black-clad warriors that surrounded us. They were like voids, living shadows that seemed to absorb all light and reflect nothing.

To think that it had come to this.

"What the hell's goin' on?" I heard Raph growl quietly as he restlessly played with his sai, waiting for my signal to attack, ready to defend if the Foot aggressed first.

I was wondering the same thing; the Foot had never been quite this aggressive or cunning before. No matter where we patrolled, whenever we stepped foot out of the sewer, they were there. It was uncanny. And dangerous. For the past week, we'd stayed far from the lair, keeping Master Splinter, Casey, and April updated, but deciding it best to hide out until things calmed down.

"This is crazy weird, bros," came Mikey's stage-whisper, bringing me back to the present. "Why aren't they attacking? They outnumber us by, like, five to one."

In his nervous state, Mikey idly began to twirl one nunchaku. One apparently inexperienced Foot warrior suddenly panicked, hurling a shuriken at my youngest brother, seeming to flinch as he clumsily drew his katana. I heard Don's low, angry growl and Raph's enraged roar as my second youngest brother leaped forward. The ninja never had a chance as Raph dodged the poorly aimed blade thrust and drove his sai into the black covered chest.

"Mikey!" I yelled, grabbing him by the arm as Donnie rushed past us. "Mike, are—"

"Dude, I'm fine." His large, blue eyes glinted laughingly in the moonlight. "He totally missed."

I felt a warm rush of relief even as I heard the unspoken _amateur_ that Mike left hanging in the air.

I drew my _ninjaken_ and flanked Don, Mikey moving to protect Raph's back. A sea of blank, black masked warriors flooded around me. I could see Don just in front, his staff whirling madly as it connected with flesh and metal. I took a deep breath, centered myself, and threw myself into the fight.

I don't know how long it lasted before suddenly a sharp and distinctly _feminine _voice commanded "_Halt!"_

The attacking ninja immediately retreated several yards. The sound of a continuing scuffle reached my ears and I turned my head to see Raph deliver a lethal stab to one of the withdrawing ninja. He barked out a laugh as the body fell to the ground.

"Be on your guard, guys," I instructed in between breaths as my brothers warily backed over to me. Thick rivulets of blood, not my own, ran down my arms and plastron as I held my _ninjaken_ at ready, eyes straining into the shadows of the woods to catch sight of the intruder. I didn't have long to wait.

The figure swung out of the trees in a form-fitting black uniform, armor hugging and accentuating the sharp curves of the body it hung on. I drew in a sharp breath as its—_her—_face became clear to see. I felt Don shift uneasily beside me; Mike gave an under-the-breath "_Ew"_. Raph just growled.

Creamy white skin shone starkly in the bright-as-day moonlight, her too-full lips rosy red even from this distance. The low-cut armor plunged down her chest and accentuated her all-around pleasing figure. A long mane of curly, black hair flowed down her back like a midnight waterfall.

"You are the turtles, I assume?" Her voice seemed to trickle, bell-like, across the distance. It was white and pure, reminding me of the palest snowfall. A far cry from the thunderous tone she had just used to command the Foot warriors.

"We sure as hell ain't Bigfoot, ya bitch," Raph spat mockingly as he scuffed his calloused heel in the sand.

"I wish the honor of your presence, turtles," the woman said smoothly, ignoring my brother's sarcastic tone.

"Ya gonna give us a choice?"

"Raph, shut it," I said quickly, throwing a hand out to his plastron. He scowled at me darkly.

"If you will allow my ninja to take your weapons and then please follow me—"

"Like _hell_ we will—"

"I said _shut it,_ Raphael," I growled loudly as I turned to fully face the woman. "How do we know that you won't harm us?" I said carefully. Somehow, I just seemed to _know_ that she was honorable and would keep her word.

Her generous mouth curled upwards in a coy smile as she regarded me. "You _don't_ know. But I will tell you that upon my honor, my ninjas will not harm you. And neither will I, unless you attempt to escape before I give you my leave."

The authority in her voice impressed me.

"She's not exactly giving us a choice, now, is she?" Don said in a low voice as he looked at the soldiers that hemmed us in.

"Yeah, real magnanimous bitch, she is," Raph sneered back.

I resisted the urge to smack my younger brother upside the head, to tell him what a fool he was for dishonoring this lady who pledged on her _honor_ to allow nothing to befall us.

I shifted my eyes, looking deeply into her flawless countenance and could detect no sign of evil, of hidden intent.

I could see no alternative. I slowly placed my _ninjaken_ on the loamy ground and motioned for my brothers to do the same.

Don shot me an indecipherable look but followed my lead, as did Mikey; Raph began promising me under his breath that we would _talk about this later_ (though I knew that he would be talking less with his mouth and more with his fists).

The woman smiled, signaling for the Foot to retrieve our weapons. "Please," she said in that velvet-smooth voice as she turned her back towards us, "Come this way."

* * *

"Leo, what the _fuck_ were you thinkin'?"

Raph's hoarse demand echoed loudly through the back of the windowless van we'd been herded into. Although I couldn't see his eyes, I could imagine that they were blazing.

"Raph, this is my call; you have to trust me on this," I said firmly.

"Seriously, bro," Mikey's voice piped up. "I agree with Raph. You were totally zoning out back there, Leo."

"Since when did you become all warm 'n fuzzy with the Foot?" Raph asked deridingly.

"Shut the hell up, _Raph._ You know nothing about her."

"Oh, and you do? I sure as hell know that bitch is teamed up with the _Foot._ And last _I_ saw, they were tryin' to _kill_ us."

"She's _different, _Raph. You just can't see past your own pride to admit it!"

"What's gotten into you, Leo?" Don's voice broke into our escalating argument incredulously. "This isn't like you at all."

"Shut up, Don!" I snapped. For the life of me, I couldn't understand why Don and Raph were reacting this way. Didn't they trust me? Didn't they see that I trusted _her_?

The van fell into a tensioned silence. All I could hear were the slow exhales of my brothers; all I could think of was _her_.

The van eventually slowed, the back flying open to reveal a squad of Foot. Subsequently, we were quickly blindfolded and cuffed. I could _feel _the fury radiating from my brothers as they interpreted this new turn of events as being hostile._ She's being Paranoid, _came one thought. _Rightfully cautious,_ the more reasonable voice corrected.

We were made to walk several hundred yards across cracked, rough pavement.

And then, the grade of the road abruptly began descending. Pavement eventually began to give way to moist, almost-muddy dirt. I had to tread carefully, now; traction was little to none and one misstep could send me toppling into my escort and then on to who knew what.

The air around us was getting cooler and more humid. I could feel a light mist blowing into my face, the ground changing to more of a wet loam than dirt as I caught the sound of rushing water. My guide halted me and undid the blindfold and cuffs. A dark, dank place not unlike our home met my eyes. I heard Don inhale sharply over the sound of the river.

Raph's muttered, "What's up, Don?" carried only loud enough to be heard by me and my brothers.

"This…. This is the abandoned sawmill that's under Yonkers, I think." Awe was thick in his voice as he looked up at the brick ceiling that rose to around twenty feet above our heads. The light cast from the Foot lanterns threw our shadows against the wall in a garish, dancing motion. It only added to the admittedly surreal situation.

"It was built in the 1650's by a Dutch landowner," Donnie continued, surveying the walls as best he could as we stepped into the cool river water to follow our guides. "This architecture is _incredible."_

I shrugged, my eyes searching the darkness to try and see the woman who had taken us. As we walked on, my hopes for seeing her began to dwindle, though my faith in her good intentions never wavered. Our guide had us follow the river upstream for several hours. I could feel my feet starting to numb when the ninja finally climbed out of the current onto a thin, rock ledge and began walking down a narrow passage to where I could see light pouring out.

I had to squint when I entered the room. Through blurred eyes, I could just make out four figures lounging around what appeared to be a table. I reached up a hand to shield my eyes to get a better look. My heart nearly broke out of my plastron when I recognized the goddess-like figure of the female warrior.

She smiled at me, her eyes hard as diamonds yet gentle as a summer breeze. "I apologize for the inconvenience, but security must be ensured." _I knew it, _I said smugly to myself. "Allow me to introduce myself: I am Sumisu Meririn Sueren. You may call me Meririn."

She looked expectantly at me—_me—_and waited.

"I am Leonardo, and these are my brothers, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael," I stuttered.

"An honor, Leonardo-san," she said, bending at the waist and keeping her eyes locked onto mine. Her raven hair cascaded across her shoulder in fistfuls of ringlets.

I gulped and barely managed to tilt my head in acknowledgement to her.

"These are my comrades," she stated, casting a delicate arm over to three women lazing by the table.

"Destiny Bolivar," she began, gesturing to a girl with dishwater blonde hair, gray eyes and a pair of stick-thin legs that seemed a mile long, "Starr Trudea," watery blue eyes, dull red hair, and too-high cheekbones that cast hollowed shadows in her cheeks, "Chantal de Hauteville, " unnaturally green eyes (obviously contacts), flat, dirt-brown hair (strangely enough, she had a streak of pure white that fell coyingly into her eyes no matter how many times she attempted to brush it back), and a chest the size of Texas. "And, of course, myself; Meririn." _She_ I could appreciate. Eyes of stormy violet, her shimmering and curly sable hair crowning her statuesque figure and dripping down her shoulders , her warm scent like the purest citrus. I had to wonder, as I drunk in the sight of her, where in the nine hells did she dig up tramps like these?

"We need your help," she began, laying a hand on the table. I swear that I could see her strong eyes shimmering from unshed tears. "I—we—wish to destroy the Shredder."

I looked at her with a newfound respect. "Why?" I asked curiously.

Meririn sighed deeply and sank into a nearby chair.

"I suppose I must start from the first." She steepled her fingers and gestured for us to sit.

"Oroku Saki found me when I was but a young teenager. My parents had abandoned me, claiming me to be worthless and no good. No matter where I went, I could find no work (except for the countless numbers of men who begged me to be their wife, though I told them that I would marry for nothing but love). He found me, _saved _me from certain death." She inhaled deeply. "Dear Destiny witnessed the murders of her entire family, herself barely managing to escape certain death; Starr was abused relentlessly by her family, made to slave in the kitchens while her sisters enjoyed a life of leisure; Chantal was exiled from her village for protecting an innocent from being executed. All of our stories are different; but, as you see, all of our stories are the same, as we all ended here. We knew nothing about _his_ actions until he sent for us last month. He had cared for us when we had been abandoned by all. He saw in us what no one else perceived, and we trusted him as we would a father. But, when we discovered his true character, we were deeply ashamed. We kept that anger in check until we found an opportune time to defect. A good number of Father's Foot warriors are loyal to myself and Destiny, Chantal, and Starr. Those are the ones you see here."

"How did you escape?" I asked, admiration coloring my voice. The sheer _audacity _of her defying the _Shredder_ amazed me.

"There was a battle; we were able to defeat our adversaries and escape."

I let my imagination take over as to just _how _the other three had contributed to the battle, since Meririn was clearly being modest and had taken the warriors out herself.

"I _need _you, Leonardo," Meririn began in a pleading voice. _Oh, you can _have _me , baby, _came my uncharacteristically lustful thought.

"We, all four of us, need your help if we are to overthrow the Shredder. It is only if we work together that we will be able to save New York."

"Sounds—" I had to clear my throat, as it had begun to crack, "Sounds good." I didn't even think to ask my brothers their opinions.

"Excellent." Her voice hardened as it became authoritative. "Destiny and Raphael will be paired as the main offense." She canted a look at Raph, who had his eyes glued to Destiny. "Destiny, you may leave with Raphael to get his weapons."

"Of course, Mer," the tight-faced woman said, swinging her hips like a drunken elephant as she walked out the door, a dazed Raph slowly following her.

Meririn clasped her hands at her stomach and threw back her shoulders. "I thought that Starr and Donatello could be behind the scenes to take down the Shredder's security, and whatnot."

Glancing at Donnie, I wondered how _behind the scenes _they'd be.

"I'll show you our hacking equipment, Donatello," Starr said in a nasally voice. Don followed as if in a trance. I frowned. Something seemed to be off about them. But my worries were dispelled as soon as _she_ began to speak again.

"And then Chantal and Michelangelo would back Raphael and Destiny up."

Chantal teasingly brushed the offcolor-white hair away from her face and smiled brightly before lunging at Mike and grabbing his hand. She pulled him out the door forcefully, Mikey looking none-too reluctant to go.

"And…." Meririn eased beside me and placed her flawless hand on my shoulder. My heart fluttered; I felt like a teenage boy who had his first crush.

"That would leave you to infiltrate the complex and tear down any resistance before going in for the final thrust. With me as your partner, of _course,_ Leonardo."

My mouth went inexplicably dry as her piercing, violet eyes gazed into mine. I managed a nod and she smiled brilliantly at me, straightening her willowy figure and beckoning me to follow her.

We stepped back out into the tunnel and I felt a shiver run up my spine at the chill air.

"This way, Leonardo."

Her steps were light and cat-like as I followed her through the endless maze of tunnels, she seemingly needing no light to see by.

Meririn suddenly stopped directly in front of me, holding up a closed fist. That was when I felt it; an air so malevolent and clearly _evil_ that I almost felt nauseous. I tensed, dearly wishing that I had my _ninjaken_ with me. The clammy ground was slick beneath my feet as I shifted into a battle stance.

"The Master has sent us to retrieve you, Meririn." The cold voice of the Foot Elite slunk out of the darkness to greet us. I could just make out one other blacker-than-black form that backed him up. I hoped that there would be no more.

"I will _not_ be coming back, _dog," _Meririn hissed, her hand whipping out her curved katana.

A gravelly chuckle met us as the elite stood in the almost-nonexistent light and brandished his weapon. I swallowed with difficulty as I prepared to take on the his partner.

They attacked as one, the trident-wielding Elite leaping towards me, the other letting out a hoarse roar and bringing his heavy axe down upon Meririn's shining blade.

My actions were purely defensive as I leaped, twisted, desperately dodged the swirling trident that thirsted for my blood. Though I had increased in skill since the last time we had fought, I was no match for him without my weapons.

The searing pain of the weapon slicing through my shoulder caused an involuntarily cry to be ripped from my throat. My feet suddenly slipped on the slick surface and I fell hard to my shell, staring up at the glowing eyes of my adversary. _To go in such a way, _I thought angrily, one hand pressed to the leaking wound. The Elite let out a bark of triumph before plunging his trident down.

And then he was airborne. I twisted my head back and saw Meririn, her face vicious and focused, her katana and the front of her armor coated in a thick layer of blood. I gaped as she leaped over me with the agility of a tiger and attacked the just-now recovering Elite.

I was mesmerized.

She blocked, parried, struck with the precision of a surgeon and the creativity of an artist. The Elite jabbed with his trident and she seemed to drop back before launching into the air and pushing off of the grimy wall to land a double kick to his face, simultaneously slicing her blade through his throat. She leaped lightly away from him as he fell to the ground.

"Leonardo?" She wasn't even breathing hard. "Are you alright?" Meririn asked as she helped me up. I only managed a shaky nod of my head, staring into the darkness and feeling light-headed. "Blood-loss," I heard her mutter. And then my world was suddenly upside down as she swung me across her shoulders and began sprinting through the tunnel.

* * *

Turns out, I didn't have blood loss. I could have told her that, but…. Truth be told, I was in complete shock. Shock of seeing someone, _her_, defeat _two_ Elite with such ease...

My brothers and I had been rejoined and Donnie was just putting the finishing bandage on my shoulder. I had told them (in excruciating detail, I would later find out) about our encounter with the Elite and described how Meririn had taken them out.

"It was _incredible," _I said for what had to have been the hundredth time. Everyone was silent.

"God, who would have thought?" Donnie asked incredulously, eyeing me with an expression of distaste.

"What?" I asked, my mind replaying her intricate battle maneuvers.

"Who would have thought _you—"_ he pointed a finger to me, "And _her…" _He pointed to the adjoining room.

I jerked my eyes to him, mind immediately on the situation at hand. "_What?"_

"What Don's tryin' to say is…." My obnoxious, younger brother strolled over to the table where I was sitting and leaned his elbows on it, "How in _hell_ did you hook up with a hag like that?"

"A…. _What?" _I barely managed to spit out.

"Yeeaah. That bitch is ugly as hell. Weird-ass eyes, hair that's been teased within an inch of it's _life--"_

"And the lips; don't forget the lips," Mikey broke in. "And the Wapanese."

I tensed. "What _about _her lips?"

"Dude, they're huge."

"They are pretty plump," Donnie said in agreement as he stepped back to survey his work. "And what about that… _Smell?"_

"You noticed it too?" Raph asked, looking at Don.

"She totally smells like those oranges that you guys left to rot in the kitchen that one time—"

"She does _not!" _I exploded, standing abruptly and upsetting the anesthetic that was sitting on the table. "She smells like the freshest, most dedicated citrus…" I trailed off, my eyes glazing over as I tried to remember her aroma.

"So, Leo. She smells like… _Passionate _citrus?"

My brothers dissolved into fits of laughter as I strove to tamp down the ever-so-real anger that was building up inside me.

"I don't see how _you _can talk, Donnie, with that crone that _you're _making eyes at!" I growled, slamming a fist onto the tabletop.

That shut him up. "Who, Starr?" His voice held a note of discomfort to it, I noted with satisfaction. "Starr is anything but a crone. She's—"

"Don, if you say _beautiful_ then I just might hafta tear my brain out." Raph's face was the picture of shock as he looked toward his brother.

"Seriously? Are you serious? Have you not seen her eyes, her hair? Heard her voice?"

The last part was just barely muttered and I had to strain to catch it.

"Yeah, yeah. Her eyes are about as blue as New York's sky in the summertime, and her hair is limp as a dead fish," Raph finished with a sarcastic inflection.

"No, no!" Donnie protested, wiping his hands idly on a nearby towel. "She has this pure air of virginal innocence about her, and her eyes… God, her eyes are the most brilliant cobalt that I've ever seen… And her sun-kissed, auburn hair--"

"Dude, _please_ don't tell me that you'd want to 'run your fingers through its silken strands,' or something; it's practically _combustible,_" Mikey protested with wild gesticulations. "And also, since when does _Donnie _get all the chics?" Pause. "Wait. Nevermind."

"Are you accusing me of being a womanizer?"

"Naw, he's just accusing you of bein' a pimp," Raph stated blandly.

"I have to agree with Mikey on _that_ one," I interjected. Don _did_ seem to get all the girls, now that I thought about it. But now that I had _Meririn_, nothing of that mattered…

"Pot calling the kettle black!"

"What?" I asked, affronted.

"You and your secret little crush on Karai, that's what!"

"Admit it, Leo, you have the hots for Karai."

I stood to my feet and balled my fist at my sides. "I _never_ even---even _thought _of it!" I yelled, voice inching upwards. _Me and Karai?_ What the hell?

"But _noooow, _you have _two_ girls, Leo, you sly little dog—" Mike pressed with a wheedling voice.

"NO!" I slammed my fist onto the tabletop again, causing them to flinch. "No! Even if I _did _like Karai, nothing—_nothing—_would come between me and my Meririn—"

"_Your _Meririn?" Mike interjected, a smile coming to his face. "Well, well, well." He paused. "Did you _really_ get attacked by the Foot Elite, Leonardo?" Mikey asked slyly, "Or were you two just doin' it rough—"

I could feel my face flushing with embarrassment.

"I could ask _you_ the same question, Michelangelo!" I screeched, pointing frantically at something red and smudged on his cheek. Something that I hadn't noticed, till now.

"Uh—"

"Mikey, were you makin' out with that Chantilly chic?" Raph sounded an equal mixture of incredulous and disgusted. "That broad's… Well…"

"Broad," Donnie finished for him. "Very, _very_ broad," he added, miming across his chest in a highly unnecessary action.

"Dude—"

"Disgusting," I tagged on.

"Well…" Donnie paused dramatically. "Her name _is_ de Hauteville. Do you think she's very Haut, Mikey?"

"Course he does," Raph jumped in smugly, forearms crossed on his plastron, "He's been catchin' flies every time he's been _around_ her."

"Just because she doesn't like men with strong aftershave doesn't mean you have to be nasty, Raph!"

"You---what?"

"What?" Donnie echoed.

"Chantal absolutely _loathes_ men who wear strong aftershave; and _you_, Raphie-boy, wear too much aftershave."

Donnie turned to look at Raph. "You wear aftershave?"

Raphael shifted uncomfortably. "Cologne, actually."

"Since when?" I demanded. I couldn't think of a time when Raph didn't, at the risk of sounding perverted, smell like _Raph._

"Look, Case dropped the stuff off one day an'—"

"It's Tag, isn't it?" Mikey interrupted gravely. "_That's_ why the girl with the mongo-huge hips wants to go out with you since it's _obviously_ not for your personality."

"Can _I_ help it if she likes tall, dark, dangerous types?" Raph growled defensively.

"So you _do _like her, huh Raph?" I queried, settling back into my chair. This teasing thing was kind of fun if you weren't bearing the brunt of it.

"Have you _seen _way she walks, Leo?" He was looking at me with a combination of disbelief and of "dude, how-high-in-the-clouds-is-your-head-_anyway?"_

"You'd hafta be _blind_ to miss that sexy walk."

"I'd hardly call it sexy, Raph," Don downplayed. "A poorly done, provocative sashay, maybe. Hardly sexy. In fact, it's a turn off."

Raph just stared. "You've _got_ to be kiddin' me, Donnie."

"So are you saying that you're staring at her ass all the time?"

"_Mikey!"_ Don and I both cried beratingly at the same time.

"I'm just sayin'…. Raphie-boy hasn't said _anything _about her face. Of course, neither would I, if I were him—"

"What're you sayin', _laughing-boy_?" Raph's hackles were up and he advanced towards his younger brother. "Her face is _just_ as beautiful as her ass—aw, shit—"

"_He admits it!"_ Mikey crowed gleefully as he skittered behind Don. "Our dear brother in red has a gutter-mind!"

I rolled my eyes in Don's direction and he threw his hands up in a "what can you do?" motion.

"Leonardo, are you all right?"

Just like that, all motion stopped. Raph and Mikey shuffled off to the side as Meririn waltzed in, blood-covered and fierce-looking; the very picture of a warrior queen. I was completely oblivious to the gagging face Mikey was making behind her back.

"Leonardo-san. We four have made the necessary arrangements, and we shall move out in two days' time. Will you be well enough to do battle by my side?" The intensity of her stormy gaze held me in place. I nodded dreamily, feeling as if Donnie had shot me up with that cocktail of painkillers he said he'd never give me again.

"I see that your brother has cared for your wounds. May I?" She pointed daintily to the pristine bandage on my shoulder.

I gave a slurred "gkaaay," my eyes captured in her gaze. She surveyed it with a critical eye before gravely nodding and moving her cool fingers away.

"That will do, for now," Meririn stated disdainfully.

"Dude, that's just weird," Mikey whispered loudly as Meririn swept out the doorway. Don had that faraway genius look on his face. "Yes, it is."

* * *

"So I've come up with a theory," Donnie stated not half an hour later as we milled about in the room Meririn had so thoughtfully provided. My _ninjaken_ hung in their rightful places on my carapace once again.

"What's that, Donnie?" I asked idly, cocking an eye ridge at him.

My docile brother motioned for the other two to come closer. He lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper as we huddled in a haphazard circle in the midst of the low, mossy room.

"I think that I know what's happening," Donnie said again.

"Ya said that before, Donnie. So spit it out." Raph's deep, gruff voice never had been made for conspiratorial whispering. Even as a child, he was always the one who would get us in trouble with Master Splinter if we were planning mischief. He had never learned to _whisper._

"I think… That we're dealing with… Mary-Sues." The last word Donnie let out with a rushed and almost embarrassed cough.

Three pairs of blank stares met him.

"What?" The dream bubble of Meririn and I doing battle (*cough*) popped as the unfamiliar term came from my brother's mouth.

"Say what?" Raph asked a second later, eyes narrowed.

"Donnie, have you been reading fanfiction again?"

Donnie waved his hands for quiet, eyes screwed shut. "No, just—just _listen, _okay?"

Raph was silent, still looking ticked-off; _I_ was rather curious; Mikey just looked smug.

"A 'Mary-Sue,' to use the term delicately, is a person who is—eh, basically perfect," Donnie began weakly, his left hand sneaking up to rub his neck.

"'Perfect, _huh_?'" Raph's tone was deriding.

"_And_ they cause people to act _rampantly_ OOC!" Mikey cut in excitedly, voice inching upwards.

It was my turn to look confused. "'OOC?'"

"'Out of Character,' Leo," Don said tiredly.

"If OOC actually means 'Out of Character,' wouldn't it be OoC?" Mike asked thoughtfully.

"--And that's _exactly_ what's happening here," Donnie continued. "Myself included. The only way I even _realized _it might be a Mary-Sue was because of reading Mikey's fanfiction—"

"That was a 'Gary-Stu,'" Mike stated with offense. "There _is_ a difference."

"—And reading various articles about them on the internet. They're quite fascinating, really. But one of the really _curious_ things about _our_ Mary-Sues is that we actively dislike each other's matches."

Raph looked unconvinced. I was just angry.

"So yer sayin' that these…. _Mary-Sues_ are what, tryin' to seduce us?" Raph looked genuinely disgusted by the thought. I would be too, if I thought I was going to be bedded by that frog he had the hots for.

"Nono---Well, I guess it _could _be." Don began to pace. "The basic Mary-Sue typically bewitches the heroes of the story and falls in love with them; in our cases, Destiny and Raph, Mikey and Chantal, Myself and Starr, and Leo and Meririn."

I folded my arms defensively.

"What if the Shredder was behind this? What if he somehow _created_ these abominations to cripple us?"

"Looks like he did a damn good job of it," Raph snickered with a pointed look towards me.

Mike and Don looked my way, too.

"If he did, he probably spent more time on Meririn because Leo is our leader." Don nodded at the logical explanation.

"So that's why he, uh, _fell_ for his lady harder than the rest of us? And won't see the light?" Mikey asked brightly.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so," Don shrugged.

Raph smirked, now willing to accept the vague, incredible, and utterly _despicable_ accusations Donatello was proposing.

"Meririn is _not _a Mary-Sue!" I burst in hotly.

Silence.

"I'm afraid so, Leo—"

"You are _waaaay_ OOC-ing it, dude," Mikey agreed.

"How _dare _you say something like that—"

"Leo, loosely translated into English, 'Sumisu Meririn Sueren' means 'Smith Marilyn Sue-Ellen.'"

Pause.

"_So?"_

Don just stared at me.

I couldn't _believe_ the gall Donatello had, him accusing my fair Meririn of being my downfall!

"She doesn't even have a Japanese accent, Leo. You've been had," Mikey stated loudly.

"Hook, line, and sinker," Don agreed. Raph smirked.

"So, uh," Mikey began, scratching his head and looking critically at my clenched hands and trembling shoulders. "How do we _break _it?"

Raph canted his head to look at his brother.

"Uh… Well?" Don trailed off.

"Great, just _fucking great._ _You_ don't know how ta _get rid _of these bitches, _do_ ya, Donnie?"

"Kill them, maybe?"

My heart plummeted to my feet even as my anger vied for control. Kill my dear Meririn? I would _die_ first!

"I'll _die_ first!" I snarled righteously as I reached for my _ninjaken_.

My three siblings looked at my heaving, sweating form.

"Uh—" Mikey began.

"Yeah," Donnie finished.

"_Yeah,"_ Raphael echoed, an oddly gleeful expression coming over his face.

And in seconds, just like that, I had been bound hand and foot. And gagged. The _indignity._ Did the cretins have no _honor?_

"He was easy to take down," Mike stated curiously.

Donnie was nodding. "Yeah, the Mary-Sues tend to weaken our strength/agility/etcetera ; if we're in a battle and doing poorly—when, normally, we'd would be doing just fine—it allows the Mary-Sues to excel, to impress us."

Don's oh-so-intelligent explanation didn't explain the defeat of the _Elite warriors._

"Huh."

"That makes sense," Mikey agreed.

"Now for a plan."

If I hadn't been in a maddened, fevered state of mind, I might have admired Donatello's leadership in the situation. As it was, I was ready to kill him.

"I _think_ that killing them would do the trick. We just… Have to trick _them_ and get the upper hand."

"Ya mean, they're _jamming_ abilities, or whatever the hell they are, work even though we know that they're fakes?" Raph asked with narrowed eyes.

"Yes," Don affirmed. "Though you're clearly able to see the deception now, when you go around them, it will be completely different. Sort of like a, _well—_"

"Pheromones, dude. Like those Orion chicks in Star Trek."

"Uh—"

"Oh, you _know, _Donnie! They're green-skinned, hot, vicious…" Mike waggled his eye ridges. "Leo, here, was practically _mush _when he saw them the first time."

How _dare_ he mock me?

My cheeks flamed as my three brothers turned to unabashedly stare at me. And damn it all, if Raph wasn't grinning.

"Anyway…" Don began again after the interruption, "We'll have to _really_ be on our guard; though Mary-Sues aren't _elite_ warriors, they have the advantage of being _Mary-Sues_."

"So… We need to get the drop on 'em," Raph said slowly, chin lowered in thought.

"How about if Raph and I switch masks?" Mikey suggested. "I mean, if they're as shallow as all that, then they shouldn't know the difference, right?"

"They're the ultra-typical Mary-Sue, Mikey," Don said calmly. "They would catch on to any _nuance_ of a difference."

"Sides, Mikey," Raph cut in with a smirk, "Destiny likes _tall, dark, and dangerous, _'member? You're short, white, and puny."

Mike's face twisted into an "oh, haha" expression. And then Raph smiled, long and lean. I gulped as I struggled valiantly against my bonds, as that expression probably meant trouble for Meririn. Meririn! My dearest of loves!

"We could just kill the bitches when they come to pick us up."

Don contemplated. "Surprise attack?"

"Joke's on them. They ain't exactly expectin' their 'soul-mates' ta slice 'em from ear to ear."

"That could—"

"Guys, _can it_, someone's coming!" Mikey hissed.

Several someones I could see them hoping. Raph grabbed me under the arms and drug me out of sight of the door.

"Be good an' quiet, Fearless," he said in an insufferably smug tone as the door was flung open.

"Leonardo?"

Meririn! I longed to run out to her, to warn her of the impending danger! But, alas, the bonds were tight and the gag true.

"Leonar—urgh---" Cue the solid, deadly _thwack _from Donnie's Bo staff.

_NO!_ Mental anguish assaulted me as one pure, crystal tear slid down my fa---

What--what the _hell?_ Were…. Those _my_ thoughts?

Clarity was dumped upon me with all the tact of a bucketful of ice water. Raph looked at me with a penetrating gaze.

"That you, Leo?" He asked hoarsely. I nodded vigorously. The red flush of embarrassment burned my face as he undid the gag and cut the ropes on my wrists and ankles.

"God, Raph—"

"Save it, Leo, the other three are coming," Raph hissed, sai drawn.

I crouched behind Raph and he wordlessly handed me my _ninjaken_. The darkened shapes of Mikey and Don flanked the open door, the slain abomination slumped in the doorway. Three, distinct pairs of footsteps clicked stridently down the slimed, brick floor. And then, silence.

"Oh my God—"

"Like, gross—"

"What the fuckin'hell happened to that ass-kissing, whore-mongering—""

The incredulous cries from Starr, Chantal, and Destiny, respectively, almost caused a smile to form on my face. That is, until I glimpsed Raph to see his weapons sink to the floor. Oh, great. _Just great. _

Well…

Only three of them. And they were rather distracted at the moment. Counting silently to myself, I suddenly sprang forward from behind Raphael and charged.

A chorus of three, viciously broken-hearted "NO"'s thundered around me after I neatly decapitated a stunned looking Chantal. And shortly thereafter, a protesting Starr and blue-streak cussing Destiny.

And then… Dead silence. Perhaps the wrong choice of words, I thought.

I felt a presence behind me and turned to see Donnie, Bo staff held in both hands as he slowly edged from behind the door, eyes on the pile of not-really femme fatales.

"Are they—" Mikey's tentative voice drifted from my right.

"Should be." I'd never known anyone to survive a decapitation. Though since these were Mary-Sues…. Anything was possible, I supposed.

Don prodded one of the bodies with his staff and looked contented when nothing happened.

"Well… That did it, I think."

"Damn well better had," I heard Raph mutter sourly beneath his breath.

"Soooo—" Mikey drawled, "How do we get outta here? I mean, these chicks _were_ actually working for the Shredder, right?"

Don shook his head. "No, I actually don't think so, now. There is a chance, of course, that they _did_ work for him and were attempting to deceive us ("but even if they did, the chances of them actually letting the Shredder _harm_ us would be very slim," Donnie added, a single finger extended from his fist as he made a point. "Mary-Sues tend to have a tragic redemption and save their loves before dying heroically or dramatically saving the day," which _still _didn't satisfy my need for an explanation as to how Meririn had dispatched the Elite), but more often than not, these creatures just—_are._"

"I'm sorry?" I was thoroughly confused by this point. "What do you mean they just _are?_"

Don shrugged helplessly. "I mean that they're like any other unexplained phenomena; the Bermuda Triangle, exotic particles, dark matter—"

"He means they can't be explained, bro," Mike supplied helpfully.

"Yeah, and Fearless doesn't have a _damn_ clue about what 'unexplained' means, dumbass," Raph returned caustically.

"So," I hastily interjected, seeing Mikey begin to open his mouth for a retort, "their Foot shouldn't be any problem?"

"No." Don sounded doubtful. "But instead of taking a chance and asking for directions," he returned a second later, "I've studied schematics of these tunnels a few years back; I could probably get us out of here."

"Probably?" I asked.

"_Probably?" _Raph and Mikey sounded as thrilled as I felt.

"Most likely." Don sounded a bit defensive.

Then again, did we have a choice?

"Go ahead, Don," I said, waving my arm towards the door.

My younger brother nodded and neatly stepped over the mess of bodies and into the tunnel. Mike and Raph followed wordlessly as I brought up the rear.

As Don led us through the labyrinthine maze of dripping tunnels and cracked mortar, I found myself thinking of Father, whom I hadn't seen in over a week.

And when we finally broke through the darkness of our underground prison and into the glorious light of morning, I found myself musing.

How in hell were we going to explain this to Splinter?

* * *

_Fin_


End file.
